Sports Fans to the Bitter End!
Steve Spurrier died and went to heaven. Upon meeting
St. Peter at the pearly white gates, St. Peter
says," Good to see you Steve, we have a huge
house waiting for you." Spurrier was pleased
by this news until he arrived
at his so called huge house. Turns out it was a pretty small
house with lots of gator flags flying outside of it.
Needless to say, Steve was pissed. He went
to St. Peter and said, "No disrespect, but I thought you
said my house was huge." St. Peter replied,
" It is considered a very huge house here in Heaven,
most people don't even get a house." Having learned this
Spurrier was once again happy. On his way back to
his house he noticed a mansion with UT flags
and banners flying everywhere. Once again, Steve was
pissed. He went back to St. Peter and
said,"Once again, no disrespect, but why
does Fulmer get a house
bigger than mine?" St. Peter replied, "Are you
talking about the house with all the UT paraphenalia?"
"Yes," replied Steve.
"Why that's not Fulmers' house, it's GODS'"
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DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THE BAMA FAN
WHO BOUGHT AN "A.M."RADIO?
IT TOOK HIM TWO WEEKS TO FIGURE
OUT THAT IT COULD PLAY AT NIGHT.
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Q. WHAT JOB DO THEY ASSIGN BAMA FAN AT THE M&M
FACTORY?
A. PROOFREADING.
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Q. WHAT ARE THE TOUGHEST 6 YEARS IN A GATOR'S LIFE?
A. 3RD GRADE.
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Q. WHAT DO YOU CALL A GATOR WITH HALF A BRAIN?
A. "GIFTED".
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Q. HOW DID THE BAMA FAN DIE DRINKING MILK?
A. THE COW FELL OVER ON HIM.
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Q. HOW DID THE "FREDDIE KITCHENS" GET RUN OVER BY A
COMPACT CAR?
A. HE THOUGHT IT WAS A LARGE CAR, FAR AWAY!
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Q. WHY DID THE VANDY FAN BURY HIS CAR?
A. BECAUSE HIS BATTERY DIED.
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ICE IS NO LONGER SERVED IN DRINKS AT UF. THE SENIOR
WHO KNEW THE
RECIPE GRADUATED.
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Why do 'Bama grads hang their diplomas in the rear
windows of their
cars?
So they can park in "handicapped" spaces.
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How is a tornado similar to a divorce in
Gainesville?
In both cases somebody loses a trailer!
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A young man was at the UT game sitting in the top of
the nosebleed
section.
While viewing the crowd with his binoculars he
noticed an empty seat
on the 50-yard line. During halftime he walked down to see
if the seat was occupied.
An elderly gentleman was sitting in the seat next to
the empty one.
"Is anyone sitting in this empty seat," asked the young man.
"No, my wife and I have had
these same seats for 40 years, but she's dead now,"
replied the old
man.
The young man then asked why the old man didn't bring
any friends or relatives to the game. The old man
responded, "They're all at the funeral."
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There is this Georgia fan who is married to a
Florida fan. He loves
her with
all of his heart, but just can't get past the fact
that she is a
Florida fan
and therefore, kinda slow. He thinks long and hard,
and comes to a
decision.
As much as he loves the Bulldogs, he loves her more.
He decides to
become a
Gator fan. After many unsuccessful tries (ie doing
the gator chop at
the
games) he decides to enlist the aid of a doctor.
"Doc, I want to become a
Florida fan, how can you do it?" The man asks.
"Well, it's quite simple, I just have to remove
1/3 of your brain. Are you sure
you want to do this?" The
Doctor asks. "I have no other choice." The man
says. He wants to have the
surgery right away.
The doctor (an Ole Miss alum)
begins the procedure.
During the operation, his hand slips, and he cuts
out too much of the poor Georgia fan's brain.
While the man is recuperating,
the doctor is pacing
around his bedside. The man starts to stir. The
doctor rushes over and says
"Sir! I'm so sorry, there's been an accident, I
mistakenly removed 2/3 of your
brain!" The man looks up at the doctor with a big
smile on his face and says: "Roll Tide!!!"