YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK PILOT IF....

Your stall warning plays "Dixie".

Your cross country flight plan uses flea markets as
check points.

You think sectional charts should show trailer parks.

You've ever used moonshine as avgas.

You have mud flaps on your wheel pants.

You think GPS stands for Going Perfectly Straight.

Your toothpick keeps poking your mike.

You constantly confuse Beechcraft with Beechnut.

Just before impact you are heard saying, "Hey yall,
watch this."

You have a black airplane with a big #3 on the side.

You've ever just taxied around the airport drinking
beer.

You use a Purina feed bag for a windsock.

You fuel your Wizzbang 140 from a Mason jar.

You wouldn't be caught dead flying a Grumman "Yankee."

You refer to flying in formation as "We got ourselves
a convoy."

There is a sign on the side of your aircraft
advertising your septic tank service.

The set of "matched luggage" you take on your long
cross country flights is three grocery sacks from
the same Piggly Wiggly.

You subscribe to "The Southern Aviator" because of the
soft paper.

You think there should be a real Confederate Air
Force.