A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer.
Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.
There's no future in time travel.
Boycott shampoo! Demand the REAL poo!
If you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?
Smith & Wesson: The original point and click interface.
Radioactive cats have 18 half-lives.
What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery.
If you can't convince them, confuse them.
I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.
Dyslexics of the world, untie!
Beat the 5 o'clock rush - Leave work at noon!
I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.
Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
A good pun is its own reword.
I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.
I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done.
Laughing stock: cattle with a sense of humor.
Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
Corduroy pillows: They're making headlines!
Black holes are where God divided by zero.
All those who believe in psychokinesis raise my hand.
There's an exception to every rule, except this one.