Two friends were standing in a bank when a pair of robbers rushed in.
Not only did the thieves clean out the tills, but they walked around with bags
and ordered everyone to throw their valuables in.  Just as the robbers
got to the pair, one of the friends turned to the other and, passing
him a bill, said, "By the way, Joe, here's that twenty bucks I owe you.",

 .A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist who was
speeding down Main Street.
"But officer," the man began, "I can explain."
"Just be quiet," snapped the officer. "I'm going to let
you cool your heels in jail until the chief gets back."
"But, officer, I just wanted to say,"
"And I said to keep quiet! You're going to jail!"

A few hours later the officer looked in on his prisoner and said,
"Lucky for you that the chief's at his daughter's wedding. .
.He'll be in a good mood when he gets back."

"Don't count on it," answered the fellow in the cell. "I'm the groom."