Quickly, God was faced with a class action suit for failure to
environmental impact statement. God was granted a temporary permit for
the project, but was stymied with the cease and desist order for the
Then God said, "Let there be light!"
Immediately, the officials demanded to know how the light would be
Would there be strip mining? What about thermal pollution? God
explained that the light would come from a large ball of fire. God was granted
provisional permission to make light, assuming that no smoke would
result from the ball of fire, and that he would obtain a building permit and
to conserve energy, He would have the light out half the time. God agreed
and offered to call the light "Day" and the darkness "Night". The
officials replied that they were not interested in semantics.
God said, "Let the earth put forth vegetation, plant yielding seed, and
fruit trees bearing fruit."
The EPA agreed, so long as only native seed was used.
Then God said, "Let the waters bring forth swarms of living creatures,
and let birds fly above the earth."
The officials pointed out that this would require approval from the
Department of Game coordinated with the Heavenly Wildlife Federation
and the Audubon Society.
Everything was okay until God said the project would be completed in
The officials said it would take at least two hundred days to
the applications and the impact statement. After that there would be a
public hearing. Then there would be ten to twelve months before...
At this point God created Hell...