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Twenty Classic Church Bulletin Bloopers 

           1.
                For those of you who have children and don't know
                it, we have a nursery downstairs.
           2.
                Due to the Rector's illness, Wednesday's healing
                services will be discontinued until further notice.
           3.
                Evening massage 6 p.m.
           4.
                The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's
                Hamlet in the church basement on Friday at 7 p.m.
                The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
           5.
                Potluck supper: prayer and medication to follow.
           6.
                Don't let worry kill you off let the church help.
           7.
                The concert held in Fellowship Hall was a great
                success. Special thanks are due to the minister's
                daughter, who labored the whole evening at the
                piano, which as usual fell upon her.
           8.
                Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other
                items to be recycled.  Proceeds will be used to cripple
                children.
           9.
                The outreach committee has enlisted 25 visitors to
                make calls on people who are not afflicted with any
                church.
         10.
                Low Self-Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday
                at 7 to 8:30 p.m.  Please use the back door.
         11.
                Ushers will eat latecomers.
         12.
                The Rev. Merriwether spoke briefly, much to the
                delight of the audience.
         13.
                During the absence of our pastor, we enjoyed the rare
                privilege of hearing a good sermon when J.F. Stubbs
                supplied our pulpit.
         14.
                Next Sunday Mrs. Vinson will be soloist for the
                morning service. The pastor will then speak on "It's a
                Terrible Experience."
         15.
                Stewardship Offertory: "Jesus Paid It All"
         16.
                Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our
                church and community.
         17.
                Pastor is on vacation.  Massages can be given to
                church secretary.
         18.
                22 members were present at the church meeting held
                at the home of Mrs. Marsha Crutchfield last evening.
                Mrs. Crutchfield and Mrs. Rankin sang a duet, The
                Lord Knows Why.
         19.
                The choir invites any member of the congregation
                who enjoys sinning to join the choir.
         20.
                Weight Watchers will meet at 7 p.m.  Please use large
                double door at the side entrance.
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